I consider myself a positive person – always the glass is more than half full kind of girl. When I do feel down my outlet is generally running. So what do I do when I cannot run and I am feeling disappointed about running? I am not quite sure and am still working on finding a new solution.
This coming Sunday my husband and I are supposed to run 13.1 miles in the Georgia Marathon. I signed up for this race one year ago. Four months of training have gone in to preparing for this race. February was very germ-filled consisting of 10 filled medications between the four of us. I worked incredibly hard to prepare myself both physically and mentally despite having to take a few weeks off from training because of illness. I had to work that much harder when we were germ free.
My goal has wavered between “just finishing” the race to having a “sub two finish.” Sub two means under two hours. (My time last year was 2:01:12. Had I not stopped to use the bathroom at mile eight I may have finished in under two hours.)
And then it happened…..pain. Sharp stabbing pain in my left knee. Pain that lead me needing a ride from my stopping point back to my car. Pain that left me icing my knee and using ibuprofen. Pain that is stabby when I walk.
Honestly though, I can almost handle the pain. Instead, it is the disappointment that I am having a hard time swallowing. I feel like a child whose favorite toy was taken away. I understand why my girls cry like the world is ending when that happens to them. Having something that you worked so long and worked so hard for slip through your grasp in an instant is hard to deal with.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with a sports specialist. When I told them about my predicament they extended their office hours to schedule me. In that regard, I feel hopeful. But there is a pit at the bottom of my heart telling me that I need to let go of my goal and not run the race. My goal was to run a half marathon in my 20’s (that was last year) and one in my 30’s (which is supposed to be this race). I know my health and my body are more important than logging 13.1 miles in downtown Atlanta early on a Sunday morning.
As I sit here I struggle with my emotions. I don’t want to give up on my goal, but injuring myself further is not really an option either. The two things that I do know are that I will pick my chin up and there will be a LOT of research in the next few days!